okay he dumped me. i feel like fucking shit
i look it too. “oh but we can still be friends”
yeah thanks bram, i feel so much fucking better.
so i here i am fucking single again.
and in the same breath i both miss you and hate you
-hett.

its three sixteen in the morning
i don’t know what to do
i see you everytime i close my eyes
i’m sick with thoughts of you.

your words cut me deeply
and still echo in my head,
as i rip apart the shirt you bought
i wonder would you cry i were dead?

you may never know how much i hurt
or how long my pain will last
but one thing that you should know
you’ll never be in my past.

feed desire……

hrm…
this doesnt make much sense,
even to me, and i wrote it
enjoy anyway.
xx hett

all the promises made
broken once again
for love is a lost game

when you helped me stand
doesn’t mean anything
as love is a lost hand

going insane, loosing my mind
you just laugh
love is fate reside…..

everytime i see you
my thoughts turn to blood, i want to run away and hide
i want to take you into my arms

everytime i see you
you make me want to die, you make me want to live
you make me love you

everytime i see you
i want to tell you how i feel, i want to stay with you forever
i want you.

look me in the eye,
look me in the heart,
look at my soul,
you tore it apart.

i’m alone
i’m a loser
but i love you
MY abuser.

okay, this was written about 5 minutes
i’m under alot of stress with my dad and all
so i know its not my best work
but people keep emailing me and telling me
i should put new stuff up
so i am.
xxhett

He laughs with a tear
    as she drinks the last of his beer
and then she runs from the rain.

His blood is free now
    as it runs to the see now
he slit his wrists for the pain.

She thought she knew him
    but once she blew him
It blew what she knew down the drain.

okay, finish this poem for me, and you will win my love.
its a writing contest of sorts
xx hett
i need you to know, i’m not alright
these secrets are walls that keep me alive
i’m all on my own, not going home

I dreamt so sweetly of you last night
you held me so close to you
you made me feel special, feel loved
when i awoke, you were gone
                              so i cryed
then i relised, you were never here
to begin with.

this ones for you….. cupcake. i know you wouldn’t dare do
what you’ve been threatening, stay strong
i miss you.
xxx hett

your words echo in the back of mind,
as i try to slip into the cold embrace
                        of sanity.

i dream of a forgototen tomorrow,
of a day without hope,
                        but not without you.

they all tell me it will never work,
they all tell me its not to be
                       i still can’t stop loving you.

Morgan, sweetie, PLEASE call me. Your phone is never on. I miss you alot, along with alot of people from mater. i wrote you a letter the other day in english, but i dont know how to give it to you. I guess this poem is for you honey.
loving you always…..hett xx

It was so easy, when we talk
                     without words.
Remember the days you’d read
i’d annoy you.
              so many times, i wanted to kiss you
              so many times i looked for a opertunity.

i miss you. i miss us. i miss myself.

                     Back when we’d be us, back before being
normal
                       mattered very much.

so much i want to tell you.
                            so much i cant find the words to say.

i guess, i’m just missing you.

LONELY cannot even begin to describe how i feel. The moody blue quiet sweeps around me, i miss you so much but i the same breath i wish i never met you. I cry, and cry, till my head hurts and my eyes are as red as the blood that flows through my veins. I feel so REJECTED. How can one person cause so much pain with just one sentance? and how can i still long for that person? My heart thumps with each beat of the heavy bass, but each thump is hollow without you. And as the tears fall so do the drops of blood, each symbolic of my PAIN. Memorys of you and hopes of us seem to flow aound me, the angst and the gental purple. I breathe in LUST for you, but breathe out my own ANGER. Both seem to go hand in hand. My phone rings, a ring of hope surounds me, before it is broken by the bitter blue-green DISSAPOINTMENT. I let the number ring out, before dialing yours, about to press “call” FEAR of rejection once more cuts through me, like knife through butter. so i stop. i long for you to long for me. LOVE SUCKS.

whispering of freedom a world unknown
bombing for peace, death toll grown
a kiss on the cheek, disapeer into the night
your full of wonder, i’m full of fright

my insane prince, full of low self esteem
i’m his bride, his much loved queen
as he sits awaiting death
no sign of fear, or one regret

truth be told, life cares not,
all he wants, is never to be forgot.

lying awake, my thoughts drift to you,
i wonder if like me you think about me too,
i used to be in love with you, but i’ve moved on
the reason, it didn’t work, is why im singing a final song

so when you get a chance to think about why i’m dead and gone
you’ll know, it was cos i couldn’t do it, im long past my dawn
i hoped i would grow up and be pretty enough for you
but that was a dream, one that left like morning dew.

no-one suspects the storm that rages inside her,
she laughs, but something is missing, it sounds hollow.
carriing on like nothing matters, convincing her self it doesn’t.
its the only way to stop herself,
but she cant stop it forever.
goodbye

fuck this. i’m out.

pink nails, silver toungue
broken hearted, still young
loving life, loving death
nothing here, no regrets

icy hands, black hair
grey eyes, skin fair
broken arm, broken heart
go to hell, earth depart

missing him, missing her
gunshot wound, still no care
fuck you cunts, fuck the world
sell your soul, to the man in curls

normal hurts honey…

you promised me the world below,
but all i got was a lighting show
another broken promise, whats it to you

they lie at school and they lie at home,
a broken heart, a broken bone
but one day i’ll bring truth to the broken

i wake up in the dead of night
another dream, i’m full of fright
those are the times when i need you

i cower away, and hide the scars
i’m still a mess, a fallen star
nothing like broken dreams in the morning

you taught me i was more than this
and to use my word and not my fists
i love you, but your breaking whats left of me

my blood is thick upon he floor
you hit twice walked out the door
every night i pray death, but you dont know that

i could take your pills, or slit my wrists
or let you kill me in one of your fits
i hope the price is right for addiction

its hard to hope when i’m alone
just a product of a broken home
one day you’ll regret this and say sorry

until that day when you think then act
i’m dead inside, and thats a fact
but i’ll always be your broken little angel

this was writte for a writing contest, the theme was “the beach”
i didn’t really stick to it, but its close…
xx hett
salt water reaches for my dirty sneakers
i dance just outside its grasp
hiding my emotions behind a smiling mask
wind teases me, pulls at my hair
i don’t bother to fix it
i look out at the harbour see just one ship
alone like me, lonely like me
sand streches out infront of myself
a golden carpet i feel almost wanted
but instead turn around and see my footprints
and mine alone.

hey there, this is written to someone that will
never read it. its for the best i guess.
xx hett.
chance tonight i should die,
would you care, would you cry?
i hope they dress me in my jeans
play a song ’bout lost dreams
friendship is fine, its all i wanted
shame you can’t give me that

just incase i slit my wrists,
the suicide note is in my fist
i guess i can make it one more day
so long as tommorow i have my say
please hunn, keep my secret safe
don’t tell, i beg you

she chains her self to a tree
but the lock, sets her free
love and hate are one the same
she does her thing, plays their game

what they don’t see, they don’t know
she hides away, lets nothing show
they tell her she’s weird and  belives them
so sits at her note pad, chewing a pen

every morning she goes for a run
and all that time she’s having fun
an hour alone no bitches or lies
alone with her thought just her pair of eyes

she cares for the earth, but no one can tell
and head over heels for this guy she fell
this poem has no point not point at all
just my story…… [i heard the call]

you dont know it
but each word you say
kills me a little inside

we used to be so close
but i dont hate you
but its clear you hate me

i beg of you, dont give up
i know you dont care how i tink
but please stay strong

and though my heart is breaking,
i think about you each moment that im waking
i can hear that ringing but its not a bell
not right now always means not a chance in hell

br…brr…bren, i begin to stutter
when you say my name my heart begins to flutter
then i relised it was just to say goodbye
we all have faults, baby, im sorry that i lie

i ask you what you hate most i know your dying to say
“i hate you most,hett, JUST GO AWAY!”
you know everything thats happened in my past
but before i met you, time just moved too fast

i really really like you, more than you will know
the chance of your forgivness is a snowflake in hell
maybe honey one day, you’ll say i love you then my name
but until you do that, i’ll never be the same….

There is nothing left for me here.
A note smelling of purfume and my broken dreams.
Give it up, world. I see you for what you are.
A sham. A poser. A loser. A user.
Like me on one of my better days.

I cry crystal tears that shatter upon the surface of my sorrow
Nothing reaches the depths of my emotions
The torrid waves of lightning torment

That shocks my soul like crack’d electricity
A million watts of sadness upon my
prematurely wrinkled brow
My dry deserted heart.

No one understands. No. One. Understands.
Why??? why?! why!!? why!?!!.;,…
Endless slander of my needs.
What I want. What I can never have.

Slowly you have chipped away at the last
Stronghold of my strength
Turn it off. Turn off the lights.
I can only stand darkness.
Where I may weep alone.

I have fallen into the acoustic guitar.

I’m a quirky grrl who does love, believe it or not.

I feel like I can impregnate the world with my fire tongue.

Other days, I’m more comfortable in the fetal position.

I want you to kiss me on the cheek so I can tell your story.

Do it. Now.

I am trying to heal my insides. It hurts.

i am unique i am special i wont change

i was on a site telling me just cos i listern to marily manson, i’m going to go to hell.
if im going to go to hell, for listerning to decent music, i dont want to go to heaven. life is short and i wont bow down to some fascist preist.
xx hett

Is it wrong to turn away from the god that you know
             to worship evil, let the pain flow?
is it wrong not listern to what my elders say
             to spit on the cross, or refuse to pray?
Is it wrong to wish for destruction, death and gore?
             I want to meet the devil, and I want to score.
Is it wrong to sell my soul to a man with curly hair
            horns, goat legs, and not despair?
is it wrong to slit my wrists, and bathe in the blood
            to dance naked, and cover myself in mud?

its not wrong to listern to MM, or to sing it loud
          I dont wanna go to heaven, and for that, I am proud.

don’t block the pain embrace it honey
its worth it babe let it take control
i know you think its bad for you
but each hour brings us closer to perfection
[shut up. you dont own me]
don’t try and lie we know the truth
you me we’re the same we are one
ever since the first time your saw youself
you promised one day you’d be pretty
[not listerning. you lie!you lie!]
you don have a choice in this
you lost you voice so just let me win
i can make us beautiful
and i can make him notice you
[i give in. you win i promise i’ll be good]

missing you
                    again.

remember those days when we’d play war hammer
you’d take over thy game. then crack it. then leave
but i miss those days. remember grade six camp?
you had a green milo hat. and ur legs were so white.
they got tanned in a week. it wqas sort of cute.
remember back when i asked to kiss you. most embarrased.
since then i’ve grown up. learnt to lie. learnt to steal.
learnt to do so much, im not proud. remember when we went
skating? remember when we tripped over each other?
remember apple carting there? remember translating “snappi”
in art? nothing better to do, and emma brought in that c.d.

                                                  most importantly…..
do you remember me?

i wish i were like you, evryone loves you
dont say i’m lieing i wish i were like you
***
you look so pretty, your hair is perfect
dont try and deny it, i wish i was pretty
***
i wish i were normal, like you are
dont say im normal, i know i’m not like you
[fucking hell]
i’m in love here, but you don’t that
i wish that you knew me, i wish i were like you
***

rain hits my face
music sweeps around me
i long for someone to hold
i walk through the trees
leaving the bass behind
and soon begin to run
i run until i hit fence
i cut my leg but i keep running
across private property
til i hit a main road
then i turn around
and head back towards camp
broken hearted
but still unfortanetly
very much alive and accounted for

                                    life sucks.

the ride home is crowed
but it was worth it to see you smile
and the entire time
i was thinking of you
just simply you
i wonder are you thinking of me too
are you wondering what im doing
or are you thinking of “her”
and how im nothing like you ideal girl
i love you
and you just look right through me
as if i’m not there
its okay i’ll still love you.

simon dies today
i’m gonna push him into the bay
with his lies and greed
in a garden he’d be a weed

he fucked my life
hes the one that gave me my knife
my imaginary friend
now its time for his life to end

simon my one love
he said he was sent from above
hevean my ass
he broke my heart like a piece of glass.

sorry.

tint my heart blueish pink
and sound the rosy bells
for when cupid starts to wink
it love.. anyone can tell

pray for romance not for love
hold my hand and kiss my cheek
brake my heart like a goldern dove
my love i wont repeat

unrequited love is better
than no love at all
even if when ever i see you
its like your looking strait through me
you brake my heart
with
every
single
word
you say
each time you smile at me
which isnt often
you brake my heart
and the day it shatters
that will be the day your sorry
that will be the day you love me
that will be the day you see me the way i see you

will your tin soilders thank you
when there lieing dead in there grave?

loss of life for loss of death
hide your heart, sorrow regret
death is sweet they teel me, dear
write in cryptics though the message clear

tell a tale all behold
sell your sins weight in gold
hold me tight don’t let go
but let me drift fellings low

dare to dream, dream to dare
shut you eyes, dragons lair
a cold dark truth drench in blood
slit your wrists and show your love.

im sorry i cant get a decent photo.
i’d send youone of my face,
but my eyes are filled with tears.
i’d send you one of my body
but it is covered with blood.
i’d describe my self to you,
but i can only think of
is a friend ive been losing.

so im sorry ic ant get you a decent pictue
maybe you can snap one when im still

i don’t need you
you can promise to be there for me,
but honey, my tears dry on there own.

i don’t need anyone
some days, i doubt i need myself
i belong alone

i caught my self thinking of you
had to slap myself
to remind me i’m better off

i love you
i always will
but i’m better off on my own.

she told me she was pregnant
i told her to find me a meal coat hanger
and a hell of alot of paper towels.

you told me to speak my mind
even if my voice shakes
and to never hide how i feel
but hear i am, smiling
to hide my pain.
i don’t want to cry any more
it all fades to grey in the end anyway.
i wave to my heros
the smile, before i walk through them
its mind over matter
you don’t mind
i don’t matter
the drugs don’t work
when the numbing wears off
i feel twice as bad.

breathing in deep, as i purge my body of sin
in Mia’s icy grip, shaking me
you told, she screams in my head
i told my best friend i was slipping into old habits
but he never new about this one
tellin myself its for the best
as i cough up blood
i want him to notice me
and to smile, as he picks me up
i’ll only get that if i do as mia says
she will be my guide.
one day i will be perfect
and he will love me.

like a bitter pill,
i am hard to swallow
if you can’t take me
not my fault
you go through what i do
and you’ll be just as bitter as me
i wont coat myself with suger
i wont be fake
i am bitter
take me or leave me
i dont care
cos deep down ur
twice as bitter as i am.

their is no perfect person
out there
for me.
there are plenty mr Fuck no
and even more mr approxamite.
i have met a few almost good
and a couple mr nearly right.
but i think i’ve found the most important “mr”
she is infact a miss.
meet miss you’ll do me..
**aplosause**
and when they ask
why i love her
i say, she is simply my beautiful
precious miss ____.
she is whatever she wants to be
when ever she wants to be.
and perhaps…
just maybe..
i’m her miss you’lldo me fine too.

an angel came with ebon hair,
russet eyes and skin so fair
deep inside their isnt more
she wants nothing but vitae and gore
a homacidal slaughterous bitch
with slits on her wrists and scars on her tits
raising the gun she pulls the trigger
the more she kills her pleasure is bigger
the walls run with carmine sins
everyone lost, but she wins
another angel came down and said
you’d be better off if you were dead.

this poem was inspiried by charles manson… it is comprised of his quotes. i’m not focusing on his crimes, as his crimes did not make him,
you did. you, socitety made him the monster he was,  you should be careful i may go down the same track….
xx hett

I never thought I was normal,
never tried to be normal
I’m not very wise
but i know
you haven’t got long before
you are all going to kill yourselves
because you are all crazy
I can’t judge any of you
But I think that it is high time
you all start looking at yourselves
and judging the lie that you live in.My life is not important here
and Pain’s not bad, it’s good
besides You people have done everything
in the world to me
Did I kill anyone
It’s all kind of silly.

the lone wolf howls to the blue moon,
its golden rays cast deep shadows over the landscape.
in the middle of the icy land,
lies a small girl, surrounded by a crimson pool.
with her last breath she whispers a phrase,
and is  heard only by the deaf girl,
who smiles at the irony left undetected by all,
and keeps the joke to her self.
As the birds pass over her lifeless body,
rotting away into nothingness,
no difference in death than life,
she’s still disapearing.
                                                      its for the best..

you have just made me happy
for the first time in a long time
i thank you for it
i love you
thinking of you my sweetheart
sweet dreams.

Mi corazón está rompiendo.
Solucionarlo.
Por favor
Te quiero!
Me dicen que piensan lo mismo

you know…
i may not be the best writer…
or the greatest friend,
but i have feelings too.
if any of you so called friends knew me…
you’d know i hate it when you fight.
i don’t mean to be selfish,
buti am setting up a no flaming rule.
if you don’t like someone,
FINE!
but this is my blog.
ful of MY writing
you are all MY friends
AND I AM SICK OF THE JELOUSY!!
you are breaking my heart
its already cracked
don’t you see its killing me.
please just stop ok??
talk about my poetry
discuss your hatred else where…
i’m not kicking off my blog
but..
please JUST STOP THE FLAMING!!!
i have enough stress as it is,
oh and pat…
i NEED TO TALK TO YOU
pleeeeeeeeeeeease call.
you have my number.

you can only bend me so far
before i snap compleatly.

MISSING
$$$$REWARD$$$$

name: Patrick milward
alias:stupid genius
last seen:st joes fete

I haven’t been able to contact him
and I’m missing my best mate

would be appreciated

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I am in love
but the one I love doesn’t love me
I think about them everyday
and I try not to love them
I mess around with others,
but I still wish  my love for me
you cant have it all
but your all I want
we’ve been friends since we met
and since we met everyone has said
“ooooooh  hett’s going out.”
but if its true you’re yet to tell me
a friend said you’d be asking me out
but you never did
I don’t hate you
I cant blame you for having your eyes on someone else
I cheat
I lie
I steal
I’m not good enough for you
but maybe you could pretend I was someone else
and maybe we could love
we spend so much time together
or we used to
I guess you cant stand me
but maybe if you could
do you think we could go see a movie sometime?

1966
hiding under the table
i hear my brothers run past
my left eye is black
my ass hurts
raped and beaten
life cannot get worse.
1972
leaving home
sleeping in the streets
drinking….
i wonder if the saints
on cards i sell
would be proud?
life has gotten worse
1992
i tie him up
he crys and begs for mercy
beating him
just like daddy beat me
raping him
just like uncle freddy did me
ha life is wonderful
1993
another one down
i’ve cut his arm
right through the bone
he bleed out
fuck it was messy
i draw a small line
in my notbook for him
1996
number 102
i draw a line
licking the blood off his
trashed torso
smiling to myself
i take a swig of booze
bury him and leave
1999
im in jail
i ain’t scared
these kids enjoyed it
i’m proud of what i did
haha 140 down
i show them my book
140 lines

                140 deaths
                                            140 moments of joy
 in my fucked up life

                                            i am luis alfredo gavarito
                                                                                              i am jesus christ.

tasting pain as our lips move gently against each other
slightly opening your mouth you breathe sorrow and deceit into me
pulling me close, time seems to freeze
and i try not to cry
trailing your icy tounge along my neck i break out in fear
a cloak of doom sets in around me
as you force me down to the hard wood floor
and i try not to cry
my already broken heart.. shatters
you have no idea what you’ve done
i’ll live on but, i’m always going to be hurting deep inside
and i’ll always be,
trying not to cry…

i never said i was human, no r did i say i was real
but my love for you surruonds me, its all i can feel

though we may be different, enimes from when time did start
i still cant deny my unmoving, unbeating, broken heart

a vampire to love a warewolf, a mythical romeo and juliet
but to stick to my kin and their values is a sin i would regret

mortals wouldn’t understand, they’re not bound by blood
for beasts of legends like us we’re not ment to fall in love

maybe one day, i’ll become human, or even just like you
i know its hard to speak, just talking to me is taboo

dont kill me

no, i never said i was human

Walking down the yawning cerulean hallway
silently hoping for the best, but expecting the worst
its just like last time. I read the signs over head
“critical care” and “short stay”
I don’t want him to breathe his last

the hallway is dim as I draw to the finish
fighting back tears as a priest walks past me
he could be here for dad
speaking into the intercom
I manage to ask for my father

just a minute hunny, I’ll let you in soon
so I sit on the bluish, green floor,
and pray to an absent figure
I begin to bargin, but its useless,
if he were real, this wouldn’t be happening

yet I continue to pray
its another 24 minutes till nursie copens the door,
stepping through, being swallowed by its emptiness
room 4 she says as I walk across to him
hooked up to a box he makes a dumb joke

i ask about his health
him smirks but it wasn’t a joke on my part
“I’ll either need a transplant…”
I tune out
my daddy might die

I stay with him for another 34 minutes
he says he’ll walk me to the end of the ward
its slow going and I can hear his breathing
so croaky, so close to death
he kisses me on the cheek as I walk out of CCU

I fight back tears as I leave
he’ll be okay
its dad he’s tough
but the reality is
my daddy’s dieing of a broken heart.

i am giving up, i just can’t take it any more,
sick of the vitae and tirde of gore,
and everything that goes on in my head,
i’m going to make it stop, soon i’ll be dead.

this one is just for you stupid genius, you seem to be getting a little jelous at the moment.
just think you should know, the guy, it isn’t you. it won’t be your fault. but the guy i’m refering to
in here, he knows who he is.
xx hett
her eyes carmine and sable
an ebony dress with russet lace
and stained with vitae
silently she walks into his room
pulls out a knife
“let the butchery begin”
she whipers
cutting her throught
cardinal red runs down her front
with her dying breath she gasped
i love you but its all your fault
then its all better
gloom is dead.

this poem was written by my friend rowan. who may i add to mysterious man, he is one of my best friends, and so are you, so stop whinging. Kinta is my bestest mate of all.but i am not here to rank you guys. back to the point. this was written by rowan hawke.
The lost long for the fealing to be normal and accepted…
The darkened wait for the light…
I am one of them, i long to be accepted for whom i am,
I wait in the dark still longing for the light…
How could the lost be found?
How could i be found?
I have fallen to deep into this nightmare, but wish to stay…
Is it my longing keeping me here?
No, it is the dark that has consumed my soul, the lost wanting me to be there…
I was there for them while all the others walked past…
How could i join them? The snobs that have never felt lost, or in the dark,
I will never be one of them…
I am the Dark, i am the lost.

we were so close,
almost siblings.
i took the fall for you, as you would me.
i remember your words,
“i’ll miss ya mate, i have your number,i’ll call you”
but you never did.
now after more than a year,
i still miss you,
your company,
your laugh.
i guessd i’m writing this,
just incase you read it.
cos i miss you, a hell of alot.
your short blonde hair,
your bitch of a brother,
the way you’d brag about,
the fish that was “this big”
and you’d listern to me.
i thought i could tell you anything.
well almost.
i wonder if you ever got together with jaimi,
or if you still think about her more than me.
you know i used to get jelous.
you’d talk about her non-stop.
now i’d give anything to hear your voice again,
even if you are talking about her.
i miss you alot,
need you even more.
sometimes i think you just don’t care.
i have alot to tell you,
if you give me a email,
a phone nmber
i can be honest withyou.
cos god knows i’ve thought about you,
almost everyday.
even if it was just for second.
i miss my best mate.
i miss my brother.
i miss you.

the silver bullet fell from her neck,
the name of her lover, now a shking wreck,
engraved so many years ago,
she carved the name for when she was feeling low,
she carved the name, so it could be said,
her lover was the last thing going through her head,
but now as the chain broke into two,
there is nothing anyone can do,
the bullet is gone, but she still has the gun,
damn this world, stay away from the sun,
nothing left,
nothing to be done…

she left a heart shaped bruise on my thigh.
it reminds me of whats missing here.

as i look at the many scars and burns that adorn my legs,
i ask myself why, whya heart, why not a skull,
or something that ment something other than that,
other than what i want right now.

i trace the bluish brown with a feather touch,
and ask myself why god must rub it in.

is it not bad enough i suffer along,
does he have to show me what i need,
mark my body with it so crewl,
god is just a sick as she is.

i shed a tear when i think of the last time she held me,
i shedanother when i cannot remember.

so i look up to skys and ask,
why are you such anasshole???

i swear i wrote  swear i wrote down “i hate you”
upon a bright blue note,
but when i read it backit said,
“do i float your boat?”
am i losing my young mind,
which is it that i wrote?

i thought i wrote down, “look at me”
on the black bord green,
but when i read it back it said,
“you ain’t no beauty queen”
have i lost my marbles,
and which is it that i mean?

i swear i wrote down,”is this real”
upon a purple trout,
but when i read it back it said,
“fake it if in doubt”
am i going phyco?
and whats this all about?

i thought i wrote down,”help me.”
on the dotted line,
but when i read it back it said,
“your not doing fine”
i’ve spring a leak in my attic,
and i’m not yet 29.

compleated.

sitting in amongst the emptiness,
i am not alone but yet loney,
i fill the space bettween love and me,
with my blood.
the steady flow bring relief that i have never known,
with every drop i bring myself closer to death,
and closer to happiness.
once i’m gone i don’t want you to pretend to be sad,
just go on, i never really mattered,
my heart is strong
and it just keeps pumping out steady but slow,
weary from loss of blood i close my eyes,
awaking in the unknown,
i see former self,
soaked in the the blood that was spilt,
i don’t care.
suddenly blinking causes a shange of scene.
my funeral, they all pretend to greive.
my family crys, and my friends are to sad to see,
but deep down they all know their life is better now,
trying to tell them in vain
for i am not here
not really.
i wanted nothingness
but this is the next best thing,
i am not really here, not anymore

i love you so very very much.

you once were my hero,
but now you burn in my eyes,
kingdom of rome, and lord niro,
you, i now despise.

i told myself you cared for me,
or at least was polite,
to a tolerable degree
but you’ll never guess what i thought tonight.

i try to bring up indifference in myself,
i just can’t, i know why you hate me,
i can’t stay on sociteys shelf,
so here i am in my room sulking and writing a parody.

you have no reason to like me, for hett,
i don’t desirve praise or love,
and what i’ve done i do regret,
i’m not you problem, but don’t slap me with the glove.

so jesus christ, when i die,
its all your fault so don’t you cry.

the dressed her in her favourtie jeans,
and played the song, bout broken dreams,
i don’t know if my family cryed,
for i was the one who had died,
with my friends it’s go and touch,
my suicide was just too much,
i wondered if i’d be missed,
the wet eyes are too many to list,
i should be sorry i hurt them all,
but deep down, they’re glad i herd the call,
and as they share out my ashes,

                             they all feel my pain, they made the slashes.

may my blood stain, like the tears before it.

hold my hand whilst death passes by,
the fear and terror too much to bear,
a single tear rolls down my cheek,
symbolic of the trama once faced.

as you sit silently beside me,
yet your presense makes me feel alright,
for though i know life hurts more than death,
you are my saviour, my guide, my reason.

with each breath i almost expect you to hate me,
like the rest of the world already does,
but somewhere deep within me i know,
you won’t, you couldn’t, you need me as much as i need you.

you are my friend, my best friend,
you were here for me, and will be.
my protector, my family.
but simply my friend.

-this poem was written for the guy who has endured me for 3 years, and still will(i hope) for many more. it is a bit egzagerated, but his quite often, the guy i turn to help, aand shelter, and pretty much a friend…. thank god i met you, i wouldn’t be here without you..